and i earned £19.72 in 2 hours! eeee!

i'm so happy that i've found something i love doing, that has the added bonus of actually making me moneys!!

i stopped off at Dawsons to collect my new portable amp and hung out with ji for a bit in town until she had to head home (sad face ._.) and when she left i went to the centre and found Jonny Walker again (http://www.myspace.com/jonnywalkermusic) after a few weeks of missing seeing him around; he was off performing in canterbury for a bit. i told him that i'd joined the musicians union and i was gonna try my luck today :D so i then wandered round the corner until i found a clear spot and played for a couple of hours. i met some really nice people, including this guy called Paul who played a couple of songs on my guitar and got a group of teenagers watching me :)
by 6pm it got quite cold and my voice was quite sore... so i decided to head back. but not before running into Jonny again who asked me to play a couple of songs on his guitar for the crowd!
i quickly realised how much more attention you get amped up, so i think i'll bring my gear out with me next time!

had a nice day :) but now i have a music essay to do ¬.¬

thats just lame. i have it on my other laptop and i just want it on this one as well but in order to just DOWNLOAD the freaking thing i need to invite myself ¬.¬ grrr.

anyways, i've been contemplating a fair bit the last few days as well as going to see tim minchin on the saturday night (eeee! ^_^) and generally feeling a bit daunted by uni essays... but hell, they're the first ones i've had in 2 years so i guess its understandable.

one of the things circling around my brain is that i really miss being with someone. i've felt that way for a lil while now but whats strange is that i havent been able to just relax if i find out that someone likes me, and if anything even the slightest bit intimate happens with them then i get amazingly tense and feel the need to run away from it. they're perfectly nice and it's not like they're pressuring me at all... but its a continuous cycle at the moment that whenever i'm with them i feel scared and i want to be on my own, and whenever i'm on my own i often want the affection.

it's such a mess in my mind.

it's not even that much of a big deal but it's been on my mind a lot.
...doesnt look like it'll be quitting anytime soon either ._.

is a second year music student at my university

and she's incredible! http://www.myspace.com/mbbowman

i love her but its annoying cos i'm so jealous ._. i wish i could write music like that.
when i listen to her melodies i'm sitting here thinking, "i could write like this, it's so natural to me." and then as soon as i sit with my guitar and try to work things out, i'm just never happy with it.

maybe it's something i'll improve with practice but i like when ideas just flow out of me and with song-writing i feel like i'm constantly stopping and starting.

oh well *sulks*

i'll just enjoy listening to Mary Beth for now ^_^

it's frustrating to spend so much of my time wondering if you miss me even a fraction of how much i miss you.
if i'm honest, it really does feel like a break up.. thats probably the weirdest part. whenever something strikes that reminds me of you i smile at first but then feel something sink inside my chest, my eyes well up and i lose all motivation for anything else i was doing. i cant explain it much better than that.
i dont know why i'm writing about it.. i spose its because i'm sick of boring my friends to death over it cos everything i would possibly say, they've already heard a ba-zillion times before!

i dont want to know if you miss me, not really. it wont change anything because you're not the same person anymore.
writing this wont get me anywhere. you might see it if i'm still on your friends list somewhere, you might even think "oh yeah, its her. shame that didnt work out..." but whatever happens, you will never care enough to actually fix things. you'll never care enough about your friends to make time for them while this lasts. in fact, the best i'll get is probably just a text asking me to take this post down because it might cause problems and believe me thats really not the point in the slightest.

the worst thing of all though is that you dont even mind any of this. you are indifferent to how much you've hurt me and how much you've hurt him.. because we're not yor concern anymore.

so i dont even see the point in trying.. i just wanted some place to vent and i guess this'll have to be it, even though it wont make me feel better. i've never felt so upset and so angry about a situation before and i suppose its because i know there is NOTHING i can do to change this.

i keep trying to think of more ways to express how i'm feeling, but whats the use. no one can make me feel better about this now and no matter how many times people say "he's just not worth the bother.." i cant help thinking that you REALLY used to be!!

quite simply
i would give anything to have my friend back.

hello again people.

i realise i havent made a proper entry in quite sometime; it's been a mixture of spending far too much time Jooótubing, and preparing for/starting uni!

this will have to be reeeeally quick as i have a music theory class in 13mins but i wanted to let you guys know roughly whats going on :)

i've been living in liverpool for 2 weeks now and its had its ups and downs. there have been a couple of times when i've felt down and missed friends and just been generally fed up of constantly being surrounded by strangers. the good news is, i feel like the people i've met are gradually forming into friendships and i'm feeling more and more at home with every day.
saying that, i'm currently in the process of buying sound gear so i can go out and busk on the streets of liverpool to get some extra money, some of which to travel home and see people for halloween!

i'm really looking forward to busking ^_^ it's something i've wanted to do for a long time but just didnt know how to get into it.
Last week i came across this guy called Jonny Walker (http://www.myspace.com/jonnywalkermusic - thats him!) busking in the high street and i spoke to him for a minute about how i would do it myself. after i stood there watching him for a few songs, he asked if i wanted to play ^_^ so i performed a couple and freaking LOVED it!
yesterday i bought a mic with a lead and stand (with birthday moneys YAY) and by the end of the month i should have a lightweight amp to carry with me! in the meantime i'm just gonna perform acoustic and hopefully still earn enough to get back.

ANYWAY i must go now, just thought a quick update was in order :)
sadly i havent had the chance to read my friends entries ._. but i promise i will later today and flood you guys with comments!!

xxx

and had a freakin blast!

sooooo to give you the long version of the story (as i have what seems to be all the time in the world here in freshers week!) my mum, bob, and i woke up yesterday at 5.30am (roundabouts) and got ready with the last few items shifting out to the already rather packed out boot of mum's car. we ended up leaving at about 6.30 but not before quickly rushing over to dad's house to collect my douvet and pillows (which it turned out i really DID need.. i just thought it was mum being silly..). we then began the real journey. i watched the houses and shops of orpington fade behind me as we headed for the m25.

the first couple of hours for me was just sitting in the back reading the "50 top things for first years" section of a UCAS magazine designed to be "trendy". it did work several times when some things mentioned in these 50 made me giggle so much i read them out to mum and bob. i also read a few pages of New Moon before realizing how sleepy the reading was making me, so i crashed out in the car til we came to the service station (i had the pillow from my bed right next to me in the back seat so that was pretty convenient ^_^)

we stopped off for a breakfast of eggs, bacon, beans, sausages.. usual stuff, complete with a beautiful view of ...the motorway in sight. conversations drifted from the bread we'd been giving being kinda stale to my general building nerves and the fact that i'd been texting kris constantly since 8am (it was then 9.50). i tried to take a casual outlook on things, at least for the time being since i didnt wanna bring out the emotion in my mum too early cos i knew it would get worse! :)

so we were going again. i then decided, thinking i was now fully awake after my breakfast and could handle such things, to read more New Moon and even though i got the gist of what i was reading.. my eyes drooped surprisingly early!

Next thing i knew, we were coming off the motorway and there was large silver lettering on a pillar nearby spelling "Liverpool" with an artistic cartoony cityscape beneath it. We began following a “Transport for” Liverpool… bus that was heading in roughly the right direction and found the uni in minutes. A young girl wearing a student ambassador hoodie came over to our car when she saw us and with an unexpected southern accent, directed us to “the third orange building on your left”, which would be my halls :)

Bob commented that the buildings were more pinky than orange but he let that one slide. We parked up and I gathered my letters from UCAS and Hope that my mum had insisted I keep in see-through wallets (which ended up being a great idea.. my mum is the queen of organisation). The Gateway building is huge and at the front of the campus with lecture halls and the canteen and lots of things; it’s where everyone was signing in and getting there ID cards so that was the first stop. We were greeted by smiling staff members as soon as we approached the glass doors who showed me the way to the main desk, and mum and bob the way to the coffee and biscuits.
I was given my room key and an IT pack with a setup disk. I had my student ID card made :) and the picture is actually ok! For the first time in life I’m happy with a school picture ^_^

Then came the “moving in”. Mum and bob came upstairs to my flat with me where we were looking around and filling in this inventory list when there was a knock on my door. Turns out, everyone else in this flat got there the day before me! I was a mystery to them and they said they were actually pretty relieved it wasn’t a guy xD
Their names are Claudia and Abi and without any initial request from me, kindly showed me around :) they were still in their PJs so obviously it was limited to the boundaries of the flat, but they told me the names of the 2 other girls and which rooms were whos, they showed me the kitchen and which cupboards i could use and then attempted to help me set up my internet before realizing that I wasn’t aware Liverpool Hope were LYING about there being wi-fi in halls of residence ¬.¬ apparently you just get it in the main buildings. But anyways, I got my wired internet working and mum and bob left me temporarily to make sure I settled in ok. Mum had already started up the emotion even though we weren’t saying our proper goodbyes yet.. I felt myself welling up a little but I wanted to be strong about this and just go with whatever happens. When they’d left, I spent the afternoon with Claudia. At first I just went into her room and, while she was packing things away, we exchanged life stories. It is now really nice to know that there’s a geeky computer-building girl in the flat who loves Sigur Rós and Sheryl Crow ^_^ its so cool! She also plays the flute and piano and says she’ll come with me to open-mic nights.

She had a couple of things to do before we would go along to the freshers free BBQ over at the student union so we first went to the Gateway building to try sorting out her ID stuff. After a while of wandering around the campus we eventually found where the BBQ was and spent an hour and a half waiting for a couple of burgers in the queue. We were talking the whole time. Thankfully she’s the kind of girl with very few (if any) silences in conversation. By the time we got to the front of the queue, Abi called Claudia to inform us that she’d bought far too much shopping from Tescos and she needed help carrying it up to the room.. and would we grab her a hotdog :D
We headed back hotdog-in-hand to the carpark outside our building where Abi was waiting for 40 quids worth of stuff! (And errr.. to all of you waitrose guys.. 40 quids… get you a HELL OF A LOT in Tescos!!)
It killed my hand carrying those bags but when we got back to the kitchen I chatted to Abi while helping her put away certain things that would actually fit in her cupboards and the one shelf we have each in the fridge. I met the other girls, Sarah and Izzy who were stocking up on things for that night.

After that, I decided it was probably best I carried on making my room into my own. I wanted to settle in as soon as I could so I didn’t feel out of place. I put on some Sheryl Crow (courtesy of spotify), put up my posters (one of which has already fallen down) and scattered things around like my Little Punkey Monkey that Martin gave me and various good luck cards with my VW minibus money bank next to them.
Mum called me to say that they wanted to leave soon so they came up to see how I was doing. After a talk with them to let them know I was settling fine so far and a quick phone call from Dean, who asked lots of questions about my room and the people and told me I should make a vlog with my mum and bob still there, it appeared that even though I was still scared to see my mum leave, I couldn’t delay it any longer because I needed to just get on with it. So I went down to the car with them and said my goodbyes. Mum started crying as she hugged me tightly (which always makes me feel a bit teary too but once again I wanted to hold it back and tough it out!) and they both wished me luck before gradually making their way closer to the car. I waited and waved them off.. turned around and suddenly had the feeling of “this really is.. IT”. Abi and Izzy were sitting outside our building so I went over to quickly explain just how Italian my family are..

I then went back upstairs and carried on in my room, passing the odd comment Claudia’s way as she’s sitting at her desk as well, in my view, which makes conversation easy :)
While putting away some of my things in the kitchen, Izzy came in and took a pizza she was heating from the oven. I didn’t even realize how hungry I was until then and so I helped myself to the instant noodles I had grabbed from the cupboard back home. As expected, life stories were exchanged and she warned me that using the microwave while someone had placed knives and forks on top of it, was probably not the best of ideas…
Claudia came in when I was just finishing my very complex noodle preparation, and I found out she can cook really well :) I felt sily saying that I’d lived on my own for the last year and a half and can still only heat things up. She said she’ll teach me a few things while we’re here.

Tonight was Army Night and my first uni party so I thought… why not? I dressed in whatever green stuff I could find and headed out with Sarah and Izzy to join the students on the other side of our halls (or “the evens” as I found out… I’m odd ^_^) who are fortunate enough to have a wide screen TV in their common room! I sat there with Sarah laughing about how cool Britney Spears was when we were 10 years old and how funny we found it that all the girls in the room were talking and laughing but the guys looked generally quite uncomfortable…. So I thought I’d challenge this :) I spoke to the guy next to me, Sam then led to the girl next to him, Nicola and the guy next to her, Jamie who all lived together as it turned out. I found out that they are living in the floor just below me and which courses they were studying. They wanted to go upstairs and improve they’re army looks so invited me along to help choose things. Jamie and I discussed music tastes and the various cool items he has scattered around like the gingerbread man from Shrek, which was in fact the coolest happy meal prize on earth! When they were all ready, we went off to the union and had a few rounds while dancing ridiculously to so many awesome (but insanely overplayed) songs. These included Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” , which one guy accepted as a challenge to show off his Jackson-esque dance moves on the stage at the front of the hall before being escorted off by the fresher’s week team.

We then joined the huuuuuuge queue for buses to take us into town and chanted choruses of “this queue’s f*ckin’ too long nanaaananaHEY!” eventually making our way out into the road where the buses were meant to be. A member of the fresher’s week team then informed us that despite the fact that we’d paid £42 for the wristbands that would get us into town for free, there were no more buses so we had to find our own way there with taxis. So we ran down the road trying to flag some down and met a group of guys hoping to do the same. When one stopped, being the only one not to think we were hooligans, we crowded in and had an additional party-seeking dude by the name of Warren join us in the back.
Town was packed. Students EVERYWHERE and queuing up for every night club you could see lit up in neon lights. I don’t even remember the names of any of the places because I believe they were shouted at me amidst the loud music and boozing. After a couple more rounds, in what was the best night club of the night which had a model delorean and an over-sized rubik’s cube hanging from the ceiling, we went for food at a nearby kebab and pizza place. I was feeling the drink quite a bit by this point having already had 5 ciders and 3 shots including jagermeister that I hadn’t tried before :D
Upon exiting the kebab place, I dropped my camera on the pavement while attempting to get an outdoor shot of people.. I must’ve looked rather ‘tardish. We had one last drink at some other random club where this guy almost managed to steal my hat (¬.¬) and then headed back discussing how freakin awesome the night had been ^_^

I talked with Nicola in their kitchen for a while about how all we could hear was a loud ringing and the fridge running before saying goodnight and running upstairs to my room. I got in, wiped the army paint off my face, and felt surprisingly content as I drifted off to sleep.

ps. the camera still works fine.. just a couple of notches :P
pps. if you've actually read this you are an amazing friend!

so tonight was my second open mic of the week :) had a great time with ji, beth, dan, kazuya, tin and tom! mum and bob also came along and mum sang a couple of the songs with me ^_^

but thats not really the point of this entry.

i did have a great night, but now my eyes hurt and i'm just thinking things through. i just took this: http://www.colorquiz.com/

my results:

http://www.colorquiz.com/results.php?code=f,5,1,2,4,3,6,7,0,4,1,5,2,6,4,3,7,0,7&p=print

i was thinking about how much of this applied to me cos dean was looking at his too, but then i thought SCREW THIS! a computerized test cant tell me about myself! only i and the people around me know that! i refuse to let something like that get me down.
its fun for a few minutes but i'm not gonna take it seriously, and even if i did it wouldnt make a difference to the person that i am.

...on a different note, i went to thorpe park yesterday ^_^ had an amazing time but i got burnt >.<

"i'm green but i'm wise" ^_^

i've had a really nice week :)

last saturday i had my first gig at the orange tree pub in dartford! it was sooo much fun and i only made a couple of big mistakes (that people pretended not to notice because i have awesome friends). about 20 of my friends showed up, along with people my parents brought along. the place was pretty packed out and the landlords daughter told me afterwards that apparently it was the busiest saturday she's seen in a while! so hopefully i'll get called back again :D
it was so nice to see all those friends and i'm so happy they made it there even when it's pretty far out of their way!

anyway, as soon as i get pictures and videos back from friends i'll post them.. depending on how happy i am with them of course :P no outtakes.

i went to aimees summer party yesterday, which ROCKED i may add ^_^ saw cool people and had very odd punch of powerful flavour! complete with jelly babies and everything. we stayed up till pretty late jamming and eating chocolate icing off of some barbies' legs... well i was anyway. it was still good!
this morning with had pancakes and i had to leave early ._. which sucked ass.

on a general note, i'm feeling more and more comfortable with the idea of liverpool in a couple of months. still very scared but i appreciate how good it will be for me!

thats it for now.. i'm kinda distracted cos i have to get ready for work. maybe more of an update soon :P

i walked passed an old friend of mine just earlier tonight. it was weird cos the last time we spoke, i snapped at him for no particular reason except for what he put me through years ago. so tonight we looked at each other, then looked away and walked on. i'm considering writing to him and explaining ho i feel but i'm not sure how thats going to be taken.

in other news, i have my gig this weekend :) i'm really excited! kinda scared tho.. will be performing about 26 songs for family, friends.. and strangers. it was a nice surprise when i found out i would be getting paid tho ^^ but really that just settled in my mind as more pressure to deal with.
i spoke to dan today about uni stuff. yes i'm still scared but at least i've begun to learn my music theory, despite my several failed attempts to contact my singing teacher ._. i thought she'd be able to help me as she seemed enthusiastic before.. but i didnt have any luck. oh well.. still lots to look forward too, as well as the crazy nerve-racking self-reliance thing!

now my eyes really hurt so i'm going to have an early (heh.. early for ME) night :D

night night all you cool people! xx

ok so music theory... depresses me.

how am i gonna make this work? i neeeed to learn this stuff and its a matter of few months before i have to BE there proving myself to my professors, to the students, to my parents... to me.
it's worth it. i know it is.. i'm just having trouble with motivation and effort and i'm gonna have to improve on that before i go.

thats not the only thing that depresses me. also just a general feeling of loneliness and confusion, and then frustration at the confusion.

i felt better earlier when i was talking to my mum about things, and when i was listening to hedwig and the angry inch soundtracks (which i'm currently downloading for my mp3-goodness ^_^ FYI) that reminded me of when i was happier. i felt supported and safe but now things are different.

i let go of what i knew and now have nothing to hold on to.


ps. but on the plus side, i think i'll use that line in a song i write sometime =)

my mum was playing at FarnFest this year ^_^ its a mini festival put together by my friend and her family for local bands around farnborough village. this is my mum and her band performing-



it was really nice to hear her sing in front of a band again :D i havent in a long time so i had a smile on my face the whole time. i've never been able to get the lil "thats my mum!" voice out of my head ya see.. as silly as it sounds!

i had quite a nice day actually, considering it wasnt amazingly action packed. i cycled to meet beth and walked with her to farnborough so she could come to FarnFest with me, then i went to petts wood and saw another friend there for a quick chat and morrisons trip, and now i'm home eating a french bread stick. woo for lazy chilled out days!

just a mini update ^^ hope you're all well

i've had a rather emotional couple of days. no detail here but to sum up, i've learnt a lot about myself. it was definitely not the best way i could have discovered it but it means a lot now i know. i made a really silly decision the other night that plagued me for a while afterwards... still a lil bit now if i think about it too much... but i want to learn from it and move on. as well as ultimately helping me decipher that side of my personality, it also put me in a position where i was able to feel even closer to someone i've known for years with whom (did jo just say "whom"? hell yeah she did!) i thought my relationship was as developed as it could be.

this isnt gonna make any sense to many people.. just know that i feel strong, even if i'm not at my best right now.

we'll get there =)

i'm kinda down at the moment. once again i've done nothing all day and i had 2 possible plans for tonight.. i'm now not doing either. what i really wanted to do tonight is go along to the crown inn in chislehurst and perform in the open mic night again with my friends, but what i said i would do instead for a favour was babysit for my mums friend. dont get me wrong, its fun cos i love that kid ^_^ but i did want to go to the open mic night cos i really enjoy playing music there. however, a couple of hours ago i got a call to say i dont need to babysit anymore because they're not going out, so i got in touch with my friend to find out if he still wanted to perform with me tonight and if he wouldnt mind giving me a lift to chislehurst (because i dont have any other way of getting there unless i wanna attempt to cycle for an hour with my guitar on my back) but he responded just to say he was already in chislehurst and wont come back to pick me up. plus, he doesnt even know if he wants to play so i might just end up cycling that way to hang out awkwardly with people i hardly know.

the thing is i realise its his choice and i dont wanna force him to give me a lift or complain cos thats just a bitchy thing to do, but i guess i like to think i'm one of those people whose company is valued.. like if i'm not there then i'd be kinda missed you know? so this is making me feel like whether i'm there or not doesnt make any difference to them and i wonder why i would bother. i want to see them, i want to perform with them, i want to DO something with my day off but if they dont care enough to just make a 10 minute car journey to pick me up then whats the point?

pfft.

tell me seriously.. am i overreacting? i cant help feeling like this ._.

here's what i know

- i believe i'll make friends easily
- i've never been in love but would like to have been
- i don't want to leave my friends here

there are times when i could push myself out of feeling low by remembering that i'd rather spend my time in a good mood.. then i remember that there's nothing wrong with being miserable and even though that's all well and good, it sinks me right back down. the main problem is that i always have to make a scene of it. if i feel bad then EVERYBODY knows. then my friends end up asking me what's up and i cant answer cos i havent got a clue myself. i hate doing that.

here's what i don't know

- who i really am
- if i'm good enough
- if i can survive 3 years.

and i dont think theres anything people can say to make me feel better ._.

(ps. but i'll still do it for kittyjo)

i just had a weird thought. i was sitting here playing my guitar and suddenly pictured myself sitting in a uni room alone, it felt like a vision of the future or something. there's no one i've known more than a couple of days around me and i'm not comfortable enough to talk to them about being worried or scared by being so far away from home and making such a huge commitment to myself....
i'm ok but that made me feel kinda sad. i dont like the thought that come september i'll be leaving behind the people that know me so well.

ok, so today i accepted Liverpool Hope's accommodation offer :) its really exciting!! a lil scary too.. i paid £150 deposit for the room which should look a lil something like this:



nice isnt it?? ensuite too cos i'm gonna be as snobby as i freakin like!! lol. the thing is, i'm nervous enough about uni to worry about where i'm living as well so i wanted to get the best i could and be the most comfortable, which i think makes sense :D
it's self-catering which is nice cos i've lived on my own for long enough now to get used to making my own meals (true a lot of the time its through the aid of a microwave... or pizza boy) and i wanna live independantly without having "meal cards" for only certain times throughout the day and all that jazzle. the only thing thats kinda lame is that i was reading the terms and conditions (all 15 pages of them O.O) and it said that i wasnt allowed to play my guitar in my room ._. apparently "thats what the music practice rooms are for" but the music practice rooms are gonna be on a different campus cos i'm staying at hope park (the one with psychology). what about all the guys who play instruments but arent doing a music degree?? well, maybe i'll get away with it sometimes if its in the middle of the afternoon or something ^_^ i hope so.

i need to improve my home-making skill tho, i'm really lazy so i tend to let things mount up and them have a big cleaning session. the university is obviously not gonna stand for my laziness tho so i gotta start clearing up more regularly so i dont piss off my flat-mates. however, there are gonna be a few younger people who wont have lived on their own before so i guess they'll have some learning to do as well :P who knows.. maybe i'll end up being pissed off at THEM for being lazy! that would be baaad.

anyways, just thought i'd let you guys know!

xx

ok so i just got back from work and thought i would write a lil update :)

i am now clean and sparkly after being sweaty and almost dead from the night i had and bike ride home :D its really fun riding back tho, its mostly downhill from petts wood so its quite relaxing.
i did pretty much nothing today as well, didnt start work till 4 and spent way too long on the internet before that. i'm one of those people with the really annoying habit of checking my email inbox constantly... it sounds sad but its true. the good thing is that at least i'm just sad.. not lonely... cos i do actually HAVE emails when i refresh the page! lol

i'm getting more and more worried about learning all i need to learn before september. my singing teacher still hasnt gotten back to me regarding if she can teach me grade 5 music theory so i might need to find someone else who'll charge me a bomb for them ._. i also need to find out what books to read for my courses.. but i dont know how cos i'm lazy and havent tried looking yet.

i'm assuming they're just on the course pages of the university website

*looks there*

ok thats lame but according to dan i might be able to just email and ask

*does so now*

ok screw that too i dont have the email for music and psychology people at liverpool >.<

dammit! oh well, i'll call them tomoro morning or summints. (yes thats right.. i wrote the word "summints" deliberately cos i'm cool ^_^)
*has just realised how boring and pointless this entry is* sorry people!
there are other things on my mind but i dont wanna write about them in detail considering they're pretty delicate and arent just about me. making sense of my feelings is still very confusing to me and i've pretty much given up on that for the moment. i'm not saying i'm in any way emotionally numb but i guess i have other things i need to do right now so i'll concentrate on those.

thats pretty much it. incoherent ramblings.

inside joke to prove a point -
Webster's Dictionary defines the German word "Schlurfferr(s)" used in the correct context as the wooden stick(s) with a ball of felt attached to one end which is used to beat the note(s) of a xylophone.
Not to be confused with its literal translation "Suck on that Dan"

=D

i'm not working till 6 today.. i have NOTHING to do till then! well, maybe i have a couple of things i could do but i reeeally cant be assed. my plan is to start getting ready at 3 n just head out on my bike so i feel like i've got a bit of life in me.
URGH i've just been watching scrubs all freaking day. i know i want something more but i have no idea if in september when i'm cramming work into all those hours i'll actually think its worth it.

i am sooo not an indoor person, i'm going out.

i have friends to look after :)